Lolly pop cops taking a leaf out of Kojak’s book

KojakIn an half arsed attempt to keep party-goers and piss-heads out on a Saturday night quiet – because obviously you have no right to raise your voice, cops are now giving out lolly pops to clubbers to get them to shut up. Operation Shhh as it has been coined will, according neighbourhood beat manager PC Andy Hocking help keep revellers calm.

“The thought behind this is that if you are sucking on a lolly, you are not going to be shouting and hollering. We will know if it’s a success if we get fewer complaints about noise.” Said PC Hocking.

Let’s hope the E numbers in these lollies won’t see silent head butting crimes increase too much followed by hundreds of hospital cases involving the various removal of lolly pops and sticks from eyes, throats and other orifices.

It delights us to bring everyone back to the good ole days of rave dummies which were seized at Stansted Airport back in July 2004 because of the danger of choking, maybe lollies will be different?

Ironically with the huge amount of underage drinking in towns and cities is it any wonder that the cops are handing out sweets, lets hope these kids remember that timeless advice given out to us all by our parents, never accept sweets from bastards.

However, these lolly pop techniques might prove more popular with fellow binge drinkers than some of the tactics dished out on “Street Crime UK” like pressure pointing and kicking out peoples legs from under people just for questioning police officers actions.

We have taken the idea one step further and developed this idea into a riot control device we hope you will like…

Chupa Channon

Anyway my sugar rush is making me angry and I have boundless energy that I need to take out on someone I have to stop typing now. GOODBYE!!!!!!!!


One Response

  1. lol! (no pun intended!)

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